Interesting developments, believe it or not. The now legendary scissors have resurfaced like a lost cat. Once thought to be assimilated into the new desk, it turns out they were given to a third party by mistake. The third party discovered our little project, (if he talks, he dies) and actually has become quite the intelligence asset. More about the intelligence report later... (and it is good) We have other changes to report first.
First off... notice anything different? I do. The former vacation home of the tuna, now has a paper suppository in it. (Why does that sound like a porno?) Anyway, in the wake of the food being returned to the proper owner, this desk apparently has applied some "security measures" to insure there is no more of this funny business! We didn't know who we were messing with, and dammit he will know if we park tuna here again. You can be sure of that...
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