More security...

What the hell is this world coming to? You would think there would be a little more faith in our fellow man than this: Name labels on chairs. With all this security, how will we have any fun??? Well if I had to put it into words, I would say: LABELMAKER. (Please... why bother trying to fight us?)

Really....

Next..

Here is the other workstation. Notice the "Stack o' Food" on the right? Then notice the semi-exposed paperclip device on the left. This is damned near obvious, but it turns out the food was returned after a cursory self examination of one's work area. An "audit", if you will, turned up a food surplus and it was returned to the proper owner. This however is just the build up to our next portion: The Intel Report.

THE INTEL REPORT.This section really doesn't have anything to do with the picture above, but it cracks me up so it stays. Our new conspirator, is a confidante of the gray desk subject. (Tuna owner) He amazingly has not tipped off the subject, but only out of morbid curiosity for what we are doing, I am sure. In addition, he knows I would not hesitate to cut his brake lines, but that is another story. It turns out, that soon after the Tuna was switched, gray desk boy got hungry. He looked high and low for that delicious foodstuff, but his "Chicken of the sea" was nowhere to be found. So he looked for his pears. Gone too. Where could they be?? Wait a minute, did he just see them 10 feet away? At his co-workers desk? HE DID! What did not occur is the taking back of the groceries. Instead, he starved on the off-chance that his co-worker had brought the exact same tuna and pears for himself. Thinking "Jeez, what copycat! Imagine buying the same meal as me...jackass. Damn, that tuna and pears sound good.." He confided to our mutual friend that he was disappointed that tan desk boy stole his food. He was more upset, that tan desk was actually flaunting it! Stolen tuna right in his face! Imagine the NERVE!

Off to a bad start.

We really did start off the morning with the best of intentions, but even the best laid plans can hit a snag... We started the day with a pretty decent little gift: a little paperclip holder to replace the one is a mere 10 feet away in its new home. After all; fair is fair, so... now they have officially traded paperclip holders. No longer will the monopoly of office supplies, nor food be tolerated! We will be the "Robbing hoods" of this land. Not really. Tomorrow we will probably set up a new monopoly or steal a can of tuna, whatever......

Ok, here is the new holder. Kind of like lighting off one firecracker, or getting orange socks for Christmas, huh? When you compare the two holders, this one is the '74 Pinto with mismatched paint. If someone ever looked forward to getting a holder like this, they probably liked the orange socks. Back to reality, notice the little "golf bag" pen holder? I bet you are yelling " Yes I do! please, Move it! put coffee in it! Take pictures of it in the toilet, and put it back like nothing happened!" Well my friends, what you do not realize is that we believe that to be bait. All a part of the new "security system" (yes, the paper suppository one) So guess what... it stays as is. (only for now of course)And, we are almost to the intel report! Read on.....

11.20.2003

Greetings, old friend!

Interesting developments, believe it or not. The now legendary scissors have resurfaced like a lost cat. Once thought to be assimilated into the new desk, it turns out they were given to a third party by mistake. The third party discovered our little project, (if he talks, he dies) and actually has become quite the intelligence asset. More about the intelligence report later... (and it is good) We have other changes to report first.

First off... notice anything different? I do. The former vacation home of the tuna, now has a paper suppository in it. (Why does that sound like a porno?) Anyway, in the wake of the food being returned to the proper owner, this desk apparently has applied some "security measures" to insure there is no more of this funny business! We didn't know who we were messing with, and dammit he will know if we park tuna here again. You can be sure of that...

11.18.2003 (yes, still)

So to remain consistent, here is the other workstation in the before and after positions. (below) As for the experiment, the chair swap was noticed almost instantly. Apparently food is not nearly as important as where your ass goes. Good to know... The lotion (which stinks) was noticed fairly soon as well. Prior to all of this, we noticed that the fruit / tuna stack was back home. The tuna and fruit were not moved for quite some time previously. Perhaps they were considered too tasty to simply return without question? or was it assumed to be a gift from a co-worker, dawg? Beyond that, the paper clip device HAS NOT RETURNED!! The new home is working. What happens if there suddenly is a desperate need for a paperclip? Will that finally "take it to the streets"? Will there be a throw down? Will they each need to get their respective "boys" to "handle this"? When will bitch slapping make its appearance? Read on...

Chair swap before. (notice the fruit and tuna stack..) paperclip device stashed on the left of the monitor...

11.18.2003

Changes have occurred. We find that the tasty fruit / tuna can stack must have gotten homesick and went back from whence it came. Not to be outdone,...read below........

Before the morning chair swap.... (BTW notice no lotion)

After the morning chair swap.... ( Plus Lotion!)

11.14.2003 part 2

11.14.2003

Guess what. Paperclip device is still where it doesn't belong, and neither is the tuna, nor the scissors. One cutting project was axed, probably due to lack of equipment. We are over a month and there are no fireworks of any kind between the two workstations. Where does this leave the experiment? How do you top stealing a man's tuna?? Steal his canned pears! Especially quality canned sliced pears, Bartlett pears as it were, in HEAVY syrup. Where do we go from here? I have a nearly sure fire "trade" that should get the ball rolling! Tune in regularly to see what we do next!

11.10.2003

Guess what is missing from this picture? That's right! It is back where it doesn't belong. After all, there are scissors and tuna over here. Scissors and tuna, what a party.

10.28.2003

Ok there must be some kind of paperclip holder fairy or something. No discussion, no warnings, but the damn thing is back on the original desk again. Along with scissors and tuna which do not belong there. How is he getting any work done with so much crap on his desk? How come he doesn't notice anything or get upset about the ever shifting paperclip holder? One of these two have to snap.

10.24.2003

The Tuna. Solid White Albacore. Superior quality Tuna packed in water, the symbol of life. It could be a quick meal if you are hungry and it has a long shelf life at room temperature. As you see in the picture, it also makes a dandy paperweight. But what this Tuna is best at: a pawn in our little game. Tuna made the journey from one desk under the monitor, to another desk under a regularly used file oganizer, IN PLAIN SIGHT! This has got to generate a reaction of some sort. Messing with office supplies is one thing, but a man's food is another matter entirely. Perhaps the animal instinct to protect food will take over and then watch the sparks fly! Let's wait and see.

10.23.2003

One week later and nothing has changed. Apparently the paperclip device is not the commodity we thought it would be. It nonchalantly drifts back and forth between the two desks, and no one says a damn thing. Scissors either! I don't know what to make of such disregard for one's possesions. I do know this however.....I think the can of Tuna is looking for a new home......(rumor has it)

10.16.2003

Well, with no drama it looks like the paper clip device is getting home sick for the new location so....we move it. Back to the new desk it goes, with our blessing. Awww its all grown up and moving out.

10.15.2003

Success. Sort of. We notice that the paper clip device has migrated back to its original home, but the scissors stayed for an extended visit at the new desk. We listen and watch for any "Hey look, just ask if you need to borrow stuff.." discussion. None. No knock it off post it notes, no nothing. We don't even know how or who moved the device. odd...

10.14.2003

We arrive at work and the paperclip device is still in its new home! WTF? In addition, the newly moved scissors stayed put in their new home.... As we observe the subjects go about their daily ritualized routines, we have to wonder why? Why is the cutting project so easily abandoned? Why doesn't anyone need a friggin' paper clip? Why doesn't either one notice the new additions to their own damn desks!!?

10.3.2003

We arrive at work again only to find the little device still enjoying its' new home. Now we become slightly annoyed at the lack of events. To make things interesting, we move a pair of scissors from workstation 2 to workstation 1. They are not a treasured item like the paperclip device, but I could tell they were being used due to the semi-cut pieces of paper laying under the scissors.

10.2.2003

We arrive in the morning with the excitement of Christmas day, except in October. We observe the two subjects off and on all day. Neither notices. What the hell? We discuss this and decide we have chosen the two subjects wisely. Any two people this oblivious are perfect subjects for an experiment of this magnitude. We look at the desks, still no change! We IM each other regarding this issue. Perhaps we picked the wrong object? I cannot believe that this is the case. We start loudly making comments to each other like: " Hey, do you have a paper clip I could borrow? I could sure use a paper clip.." or " You know what I wish? I wish someone would invent a device to allow the selection of only one paperclip at a time! That would be handy!!" The "tip-off" joking does not work. In fact we start laughing about it and that attracts more attention than anything.

10.1.2003 The experiment begins.

One typical workday in early October a small prank was thought up after lunch: What would happen if you took a nearly worthless, but prized possesion from workstation 1 and put it CLEARLY on workstation 2?

So the object is moved and was secretly pointed out to perpetrator number 2. After a quick survey of the situation, 15 minutes of laughing begins, imagining where this could go. Observation begins to see who notices the moved object. Both co-workers return to their workstations and to our surprise neither one notices! 5pm rolls around. Each leaves for the day and nothing happens. We wonder what the next day would yield....

OPERATION POSTAL part2

Unassuming workstation #2.

Marketing and sales research. What could one (or two) people do? Names will not be given to protect innocent and guilty alike. My co-conspirator and I are definitely, definitely guilty, but our victims are far from innocent. That being said, this experiment was concieved out of an initial practical joke...........................

OPERATION POSTAL

What would happen if you took two co-workers who were radically different people, have nothing in common and never spoke to each other, and initiated a little incident? Not a serious incident, but an incident that had the potential to spiral out of control ........ what if.

Unassuming workstation #1. Account management department

Abandon all hope, all ye who enter....

Operation Postal: Aptly named....I think we succeeded.

CHINGATUMADRE! Back! (in your mom)

OH just when you though it was dead and buried, guess what.....I FOUND IT. Yes, its the original site now in blog form. I will convert it all in this blog format to the horror of everyone and for all time. Old fans and new alike will wash their mouths out from the bad taste this adventure leaves in your mouth. So follow if you dare as I show you how two co-workers who don't really know each other wind up ready to duke it out.