What the hell is this world coming to? You would think there would be a little more faith in our fellow man than this: Name labels on chairs. With all this security, how will we have any fun??? Well if I had to put it into words, I would say: LABELMAKER. (Please... why bother trying to fight us?)
Here is the other workstation. Notice the "Stack o' Food" on the right? Then notice the semi-exposed paperclip device on the left. This is damned near obvious, but it turns out the food was returned after a cursory self examination of one's work area. An "audit", if you will, turned up a food surplus and it was returned to the proper owner. This however is just the build up to our next portion: The Intel Report.
THE INTEL REPORT.This section really doesn't have anything to do with the picture above, but it cracks me up so it stays. Our new conspirator, is a confidante of the gray desk subject. (Tuna owner) He amazingly has not tipped off the subject, but only out of morbid curiosity for what we are doing, I am sure. In addition, he knows I would not hesitate to cut his brake lines, but that is another story. It turns out, that soon after the Tuna was switched, gray desk boy got hungry. He looked high and low for that delicious foodstuff, but his "Chicken of the sea" was nowhere to be found. So he looked for his pears. Gone too. Where could they be?? Wait a minute, did he just see them 10 feet away? At his co-workers desk? HE DID! What did not occur is the taking back of the groceries. Instead, he starved on the off-chance that his co-worker had brought the exact same tuna and pears for himself. Thinking "Jeez, what copycat! Imagine buying the same meal as me...jackass. Damn, that tuna and pears sound good.." He confided to our mutual friend that he was disappointed that tan desk boy stole his food. He was more upset, that tan desk was actually flaunting it! Stolen tuna right in his face! Imagine the NERVE!
Ok, here is the new holder. Kind of like lighting off one firecracker, or getting orange socks for Christmas, huh? When you compare the two holders, this one is the '74 Pinto with mismatched paint. If someone ever looked forward to getting a holder like this, they probably liked the orange socks. Back to reality, notice the little "golf bag" pen holder? I bet you are yelling " Yes I do! please, Move it! put coffee in it! Take pictures of it in the toilet, and put it back like nothing happened!" Well my friends, what you do not realize is that we believe that to be bait. All a part of the new "security system" (yes, the paper suppository one) So guess what... it stays as is. (only for now of course)And, we are almost to the intel report! Read on.....
Interesting developments, believe it or not. The now legendary scissors have resurfaced like a lost cat. Once thought to be assimilated into the new desk, it turns out they were given to a third party by mistake. The third party discovered our little project, (if he talks, he dies) and actually has become quite the intelligence asset. More about the intelligence report later... (and it is good) We have other changes to report first.
First off... notice anything different? I do. The former vacation home of the tuna, now has a paper suppository in it. (Why does that sound like a porno?) Anyway, in the wake of the food being returned to the proper owner, this desk apparently has applied some "security measures" to insure there is no more of this funny business! We didn't know who we were messing with, and dammit he will know if we park tuna here again. You can be sure of that...
Before the morning chair swap.... (BTW notice no lotion)
After the morning chair swap.... ( Plus Lotion!)
